oh. whats occurin'
oh. whats occurin'
17/03/2017 12:14 AM
just a message to let you know i'm here and this blog is being regularly updated even though it's clearly not.

thanks to all the people that have e-mailed me to tell me they like my site it's ridiculous - appreciate ya.

fresh new designs up including craig david and that scene from muriels wedding where they dance to waterloo. i love that film it's very quotable but it's weird because you watch the trailer and think it's going to be this goofy australian comedy but it's not there's this one scene that had me with tears streaming down my face, sadness tears, and i had to quickly eat a really hot chilli so i could pretend that's why i was crying so much.

anyway, think i've done a good job making the site more unusable than ever. if you actually want a shirt but don't like any of the colours then (my aren't you a tricky customer) just do a comment in the about page and i'll say yes no problem and get right on that.

then i will probably have a snack and watch a bit of telly and get right on that.

ok thanks bye



wagwan
wagwan
24/06/2016 11:45 PM
hello chumps

i've just got back from travelling and by just i mean i got back a few weeks ago but i am still adjusting to the jet lag.

(if you would like to read about my travelling adventures like saving a crab from a restaurant, catching worms, getting evicted from my house, being ripped off by the cheeky taxis, the day i lost my shoes, and more fun fun travel stories, then check out my blog -
llamaspit.co.uk)

after taking my cheeky hiatus i am back on the t-shirt scene and the range has been expanded into jumpers because this is england, it may be summer but it's still bloody cold.

also i'm doing a zine called llama spit, if you would like one for free yes you read that right, for free, all you have to do is ask nicely. it's anazing what manners will get you.

today history has been made and we voted out of the eu. i'm not happy jan. that's australian for i'm not happy.

yesterday i saved a slug by helping it cross the road.

that is everything going on right now.

over and out,

emma aka jo aka joey (that's a new one)



follow me on the social media
twatter
if you don't like it you can lump it
a heartfelt thank you: to all the people that have bought me a pizza in the last couple of years: dan, ben, jack, makalia, matt, crisp, friendly homeless man, rebecca, kelly, grace, etc. without you i wouldn't be the person i am today i would probably be a bit skinnier
it's free because i'm not very good at making zines just don't expect much in fact always expect the worst out of life and you'll never be disappointed
me too
it's so nice to have you back where you belong ……………… stops at nothing and stays there ……………… it was so fun to make but a stupid idea i hate it ……………… that is so 1991 ……………… llama stocks are sky high at the moment now is the perfect time to invest ……………… ex-fucking-scuse me - am speaking ……………… they're good dogs brent ……………… sounds like somebody's got a case of the mondays ……………… we had soup of the day which was friday ……………… he died of karma i mean cancer ……………… you're terrible muriel ……………… on behalf of all girls none of us are going to dance with you ……………… of course if you are twitter and tweet you can twitter and tweet us ……………… what do you think sirs ……………… it's not a latergram it's an instagram ……………… i've put my t-shirt into aeroplane mode ……………… mission impossible ends with another successfully completed mission ……………… don't touch me - don't ever touch me ……………… will you shut up i'm talking about you ……………… in the future geese will be rocket-powered ……………… in two days tomorrow will be yesterday ……………… CRAIG DAVID 4th october 2015 1:24am ……………… if you ever see a sofa on the side of the road you should take it because it is a free sofa ……………… it's natalie you fucking pleb ……………… you don't need to loose weight just get liposuction ……………… mate i know ur a cool indie club but craig david ft artful dodger please 2 october 2016 02:57 pm ……………… a parallel universe where llamas are everywhere ……………… a parallel universe where everything is llamas ……………… when in doubt mumble ……………… i was calling like a lost lobster ……………… you can take a someone elsie but not a selfie ……………… please be careful this will be boring ……………… where does tarmac come from ……………… did you ever see a llama ……………… typical sausage colours ……………… who is in charge of cutting those trees ……………… crisis has been adverted everything is super ……………… would you on the llama's llama ……………… happiness has long ears ……………… he's classed as grime innit ……………… you're like a warm sausage pillow ……………… i want a t-shirt on the inside of my body ……………… if you had everything where would you keep it ……………… CRAIG DAVUD PLEASE WE ARE ENGLISH 1 january 2015 3:12am ……………… i was spangled for three days mate you don't even know ……………… so so so spangulous ……………… i went to spangaladesh ……………… what are some things you don't remember ……………… smoke ballpoint pens ……………… tickle someone with a branch of poison ivy ……………… never remember anyone's name ……………… he was compared to kurt cobana ……………… plumbdog millionare plumbing and gas fitting ……………… spit back at llamas to show them who's boss ……………… i don't want no scrubs ……………… get out of here if you're a scrub ……………… never put off till tomorrow what you can forget about forever ……………… what car does a llama drive ……………… a llamaghini ……………… haha ……………… stay tuned for more top notch llama-related humour ……………… don't be so selfieish ……………… can you put on some nick cage and the bad seeds ……………… they said don't take selfie with the monk i say i take one ……………… that's such a clever lyric because it's true - the alphabet does run from a to z ……………… i was told there would be cake ……………… interesting lies ……………… i don't like cricket ……………… i don't love it either ……………… be different - conform ……………… he's like chow off the hungover ……………… craig david ft artful dodger please ps u look fab 19 march 2016 1.33 am ……………… the best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep ……………… sex drugs and abba ……………… oh look our local sports bra ……………… it's llamas all the way down ……………… hippies not herpes ……………… surfers not syphilis ……………… one day i will start a museum and people will walk in and go what the fuck ……………… what do you get if you stand between two llamas ……………… llama-nated ……………… and the crowd goes mild ……………… speak your brains ……………… ITS HER BIRTHDAY CAN YOU PLAY CRAIG DAVID 27 april 2016 11:15 pm ……………… tackorama ……………… 24 karat fuckwit ……………… on a scale of one to ten what is your favourite colour of the alphabet ……………… which weighs more a ton of bricks or 6 metres of hedge ……………… jackass of all trades ……………… all day long i draw ……………… conclusions ……………… they're like two peas in a pot ……………… let's make like sheep and get the flock out of here ……………… let's make like bananas and split ……………… let's make like llamas and spit ……………… does it as fuck like ……………… don't care in the community ……………… i've got all the shreks ……………… unbu-fucking-lievable ……………… all llamas are smart and beautiful even the stupid ugly ones ……………… i'll make the sodding toast then ……………… don't tell anyone but cats like gold ……………… what's up vegas i love it here in london ……………… i'll know where i am when i'm there ……………… happy reunification day they'll fucking love that won't they ……………… top of the notch ……………… they killed them dead ……………… i need the opposite of socks i need anti socks ……………… rock and roll let's have a pear ……………… i feel like a saltwater fish in a freshwater pond ……………… my feet are sweating like baby elephants ……………… fucking cold and flu tablets ……………… bash gay bashers ……………… binge and purge the usa ……………… my leg's tense - i need a spring roll ……………… pop a squat don't send him the flop ……………… dedicated to lester and eliza ……………… don't you get fresh with me ……………… boycott everything ……………… i'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal ……………… i'm touring china with a wok band ……………… i have to study for a blood test ……………… have you ever heard the expression two wrongs don't make a right ……………… have you ever head the expression shut up and fuck off ……………… it's called feigning a manoeuvre ……………… it's the bloody cats chorus ……………… it's like 5 steps forward and 3 steps back ……………… hot as a bus ……………… done done and dunner ……………… i hate donald fart ……………… theresa may is watching you ……………… why are you reading this
"well that's good enough"
your t-shirt sucks get a new one
copyright - me, 2017
read my stupid blog what have you got to lose other than a few minutes of your time that you will never get back
welcome to
Alarm-a-Llama
if you would like a copy of my zine for free yes you read that right for free then just e-mail me your address and i'll get the postie to deliver it you
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